


Day 10: Pattern

by Magpie_Crow



Series: Inktober 2019 [10]
Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Blind!Patton, Disability, M/M, Minor Ableism, Minor Character Death, Miscommunication, Slow Burn, Surgery TW, Tumor Mention, hospital mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 02:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpie_Crow/pseuds/Magpie_Crow
Summary: Emile said he loved him! Emile loved him, and tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow he would tell Emile that he did too





	Day 10: Pattern

**Author's Note:**

> Let me start by saying that I hardly know anything about being blind. Please let me know if I got anything wrong with Patton's characterization. He's really trying to be positive about everything, even if it sucks.
> 
> This is part two of a three part series.

Patton’s heartbeat pounded loudly in time with his footsteps as he headed home. His head hurt, like it would burst, but he felt lighter than a feather.

Emile said he loved him! Emile loved him, and tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow he would tell Emile that he did too. And then he would give Emile the best birthday present ever! If that birthday present happened to be kissing him senseless and therefore happened to benefit Patton too… Well, he didn’t think anyone would complain. 

His head _hurt_. Migraines weren’t new to him, unfortunately. He just wished this one had waited, at least a few more hours, and then he could have _already_ kissed the love of his life. It was really very sweet of Emile to ask him to wait, though. 

Emile was the best part of Patton’s life for the last six years, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything. 

Patton’s father was sitting on the front steps of their house, enjoying the evening air. He waved as Patton came into view, and Patton waved back enthusiastica- 

Patton crumpled to the ground, darkness flooding his vision.

“Patton? Patty?” Was that his dad’s voice? Why did it sound so far away? “Pat! PAT!”

~~

He came too in a hospital bed, wincing at the bright lights and loud beeping of the heart monitor. 

“It’s a brain tumor, Mr. Sanders.” Someone he didn’t recognize was talking to his dad. “Operable, thankfully, but it needs to happen soon or things could get worse.”

“You think I’m going to deny my son the surgery he needs?” Dad sounded scared. “How long will it take?”

The other voice again. “A few hours, sir, and then he’ll need to stay in the ICU for a while to recover. No need to worry, your son will be right as rain in no time.”

The monotonous pattern of the monitor made Patton think of… Of… What was he supposed to remember? 

Emile!

“Gotta…” Talking hurt. “Go t’the park. Em’s waiting…” 

A cool hand brushed his bangs away from his forehead. “It’s okay, Patty, we’ll let Emile know what’s going on as soon as you’re out of surgery. I’m sure he’ll visit as soon as he can.”

His father’s voice was soothing, so Patton let it wash him back to painless unconsciousness. 

~~

“I’m… blind?” Patton tried to look at his father, but he could barely even see changes in light through wide open eyes. 

His dad’s hand folded itself into his comfortingly. “I’m so sorry, Patty. There were complications getting the tumor out of your head. It wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Did you find Em?”

“No, Patty. I couldn’t leave you alone. I called Dot once the danger was over, and she said he’d already left.”

Patton fell back into the not-soft of the hospital pillows and closed his useless eyes. Tears began running down his face, not for his sight, but for Emile. What if Emile thought he hated him? 

What was Patton supposed to do?

~~

THREE YEARS LATER (minus a few weeks, maybe)

~~

College was nice, mostly. Patton enjoyed getting out, meeting new people, and learning new things. Braille had been a challenge at first, but once he got the hang of it, nothing held him back from learning more. He was currently on his way to meet up with his girlfriend. She wasn’t Emile, by any stretch of the imagination, but Kitty Ashford had asked him out and seemed to like him well enough. 

She was nice to hang out with, and soft to touch. His classmates said she was pretty. Not that Patton cared much, how she looked, but it made him feel a little special that someone pretty wanted to date him. Date, and do… Other things. 

Which was nice! He wasn’t complaining! It just meant he had to slip away from his school-assigned guide whenever he wanted to meet up with Kitty. Patton was pretty sure that Terrence let him get away with it most of the time. 

He walked down the sidewalk, gently sweeping his cane in front of him to make sure he wasn’t going to trip on anything. He was supposed to meet up with Kitty on the other side of the quad, where they would go for coffee. 

“Is he really any good, Kit?” That sounded like Mariah, one of Kitty’s friends. Patton stopped to listen in on their conversation. He knew it was a little rude, but… Maybe they were talking about him, and that was equally rude. So there.

“It’s really more like, a pity thing, you know?” Kitty sounded bored. “Like, nobody else is going to date the blind kid. Also, he’s like, good at math. No teacher is gonna like, notice that I’m like, copying off the blind kid.” 

The two girls giggled, and Patton realized they _were_ talking about him. He coughed loudly, and was almost satisfied to hear both of them gasp.

“I think we need to see other people, Kitty.”

She didn’t say anything as he turned and walked away. 

At least his sunglasses hid his tears a little.

~~

TWO YEARS LATER (or is it? It is, I’m just messing with you.)

~~

Patton scrambled to open the door when the bell rang. His dad was in the kitchen, making sure the lasagna they made together didn’t burn. 

“Patton Sanders?”

He frowned a bit at the harsh voice. “Yessir, that’s me. How can I help?”

“We’re with the Gainesville Police Department, and we have a few questions for you.” 

Patton wasn’t sure what was happening, but he opened the door wider to let the police officer- officers? in. “Sure, come on in. What’s going on?”

“Mister Sanders, are you acquainted with Katherine Ashford?” 

He stood still for a moment. “Y-yes, we dated in college. What is this about?”

“Patty? Who is it?” His dad came into the room, making sure to knock on a doorframe so Patton knew where he was.

“Mister Sanders, Katherine Ashford died of an overdose yesterday. Some information in her belongings suggested that you are the father of her twin sons.”

“I… What?”

“Are you willing to take responsibility for the children until further notice?”

“Of course! I’ll even adopt them, if it turns out they are mine!”

His dad made a choked off noise behind him, but Patton didn’t care. If Kitty had children, and they were biologically Patton’s… He would take them in a heartbeat.

“Good. They’re out in the squad car, Officer Ramirez will help you get them out and settled.” 

~~

Two-year-old twins were a challenge, a challenge that Patton rose to with surprising grace. His father was a bit more cautious, but Patton knew from the tone of his voice that he loved the rambunctious little boys. 

His friend Virgil was smitten with them from day one. “Patton!” he hissed. “Patton, Roman fell asleep on me!”

“He does that, Virge, just let it be.” 

“Pat! He’s too cute!”

“Babies are cute, Virge.” 

“Pat! Was I this cute when I was a baby?”

Patton rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, Virge, why not call up the foster system and ask?”

Virgil kicked him in the shin. 

If Patton were honest, which he often was, Virgil was a godsend. Emile’s last foster parents, Dot and Larry, took Virgil in when he was fifteen and immediately adopted him so that he wouldn’t just age out of the system. Patton had been eighteen, blind, and angry at the world for all of its injustices. Virgil was angry too, that his new parents had been abandoned by a boy they’d called their son only a year before, and that same boy had abandoned Patton to a strange new world of darkness. They bonded quickly over their shared love of cats and Patton’s newfound appreciation for Nordic death metal.

Now, at twenty-two and nineteen, he and Patton were almost as inseparable as Patton and Emile had been, only without the same type of feelings.

Patton swore he was going to get the boys to call him ‘Uncle Virge’, if only once, just to hear him sputter. 

~~

“Are you sure you want to do this, Pat?” Virgil had accompanied Patton into the city with the boys after a call from their caseworker. They had found Kitty’s brother, and he wanted to see the boys again.

“We’ve been over this, Virge. I’ll fight their uncle for them if I have to, but I’d like them to have all the family they can get.” Patton was kept from continuing when the boys started rocking their stroller and chanting.

“Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo!” A small gasp and the noise of footsteps coming towards them made Patton pause his momentum.

“Remus! Roman!” There was a clicking noise that Patton associated with the boys getting themselves out of the stroller, and the voice of the man who must be their uncle let out a grunt as two small bodies collided with him. 

Virgil put a hand on Patton’s arm. “The boys just football tackled the guy who said their names. He must be the uncle?”

There was another grunt, and a small rush of air as the man stood up. Patton assumed, based on the noises, that he had one twin on each hip. “Salutations. My name is Logan Ashford. Katherine was my sister.” There was a light smacking noise. “Roman, don’t hit your brother. I don’t mean to impose, but may I be a part of my nephews’ lives?”

Patton grinned up at where he assumed the voice was coming from. “Of course, Logan! Welcome to the family!”

~~

FIVE YEARS LATER (almost to the day)

~~

Patton stood in his doorway, listening to the doctor’s car drive away. He wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. One minute he was showing the therapist a picture of his boys, and the next, he was alone in the house again. 

Well, maybe the doctor just wasn’t comfortable with Patton’s disability. A lot of people found themselves unsettled when he couldn’t look them in the eyes. He went back inside and picked the photo frame up from the coffee table where he heard it land. With careful fingers, he traced the pattern in the frame. Wasn’t this the photo with Virgil kissing him on the cheek to get a rise out of Logan?

Those two would be adorable if they ever got their rears in gear and talked to each other. 

He stood and held the frame gently, not noticing the passage of time, until he heard the tell-tale sound of three car doors slamming. 

And then the front door slamming open. “DAD!”

Roman was first through the door, attaching himself to Patton’s legs. “Dad! The letters have an order!”

He put the frame down and knelt to hug his son. “Do they really?”

“Yeah! And we gotta learn the order! Uncle Lo said he’d help.” 

“DAD!!!” Remus was much louder, and right by Patton’s ear. “I FOUND A PIECE OF PAPER!”

He started to say something else, but Roman detached himself from Patton and flung himself at his brother. Logan patted Patton on the shoulder in an offer to help him up, which he took gladly.

“Okay, boys, break it up. What did you find, Remus?”

A piece of cardstock patted the back of Patton’s hand until he took it gently from a small grasp. “A piece of paper, dad! Got writin’ on it!” Patton felt the edges and the size. It almost felt like a business card. 

“Dad, dad! It’s got the word on it!”

Patton angled his head down towards his less excitable son. “What word, Roman?”

“The word on the picture book you won’t let us look at!” The only picture book Patton wouldn’t let his sons touch was… Was… The photo album of he and- 

His hand shook as he ran his fingers over the face of the card. “Lo?”

“Yes, Patton?”

“What was the name of that therapist again? My screen reader had a fit trying to read it.” He held the card up to where he thought Logan’s face was.

“Doctor Emile Picani, I presume, if that card belongs to him.”

“Dad? Why’s your face gone all funny?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really not sorry.
> 
> I set up a Discord server! <https://discord.gg/gtWgvQ4>  
Join me to talk about my writing and stuff!
> 
> Find more on tumblr @we-are-fam-ily


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